YOU'RE A DETOUR ON THE HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN lyrics copyright 1993 by Joan Hess, Dorothy Cannell, and Sharyn McCrumb featured in O Little Town of Maggody When mama lay a-dyin' on the flatbed, She warned me not to truck with girls like you, But I was caught in the glare of your headlights, And went joy-ridin' just for the view. (Chorus) You're a detour on the highway to Heaven, I am lost on the backroads of sin, I have got to get back on the four-lane, So that I can see Mama again. Your curves made me lose my directions, My hands from the steering wheel strayed, But you were just one more roadside attraction, It's been ten thousand miles since I prayed. If you ever get out of the fast lane, And get back on that highway above, I'll be waitin' for you at the toll booth, In that land where all roads end in love. THE ALPHABET SINS lyrics copyright 1998 by Joan Hess and Brother Willard Verber featured in Misery Loves Maggody sung (really, really fast!) to the tune of "Gilligan's Island" -- Atheism bestiality cunnilingus drive-in movies, evolution and excessive body hair, fornication gluttony heathenism immodesty, jealousy and killin' with a pear. Lustful thoughts and masturbation and naked breasts, obscenities, promiscuity, queers and rape, sacrilege and titillatin' bathing suits, unseemly shorts that make a man to gape. Violence and wickedness and x-tramarital affairs, with sluts that ain't your wife, yadeedahdeedahdeedah and zionism. This is the sinful life. ROADKILL SWEETHEARTS lyrics copyright 1993 by K. Whitbread and M. Montana You ran over my heart like an eighteen wheeler You left me and hurt me when you left me for her You treated me mean and you laughed at my pain Burnin' rubber on my heart while you drove the fast lane So honey, honey here's a warnin' When crossin' the street please watch both ways Cause I'm barrellin' down in an eighteen wheeler And I aim to run you down some day You're my Roadkill Sweetheart I've thought it all through You're my Roadkill Sweetheart No matter what you do It's my Roadkill Sweetheart I'm lookin' forward to Yes, my Roadkill Sweetheart Adieu, Adieu     Muletrain to Maggody More Maggody      Maggody the Musical      All Around Maggody      Maggody Map      Recipe of the Month      Mother of Maggody      Newsletter      Links